SYNOPSIS


Confessions of a Turtle Wife

© 2001 Anita Salzberg


CONTENTS

I. WHAT AM I GETTING INTO?

  1. Getting Under the Shell — During a visit to the Bronx Zoo, my husband, Allen, learns about the New York Turtle and Tortoise Society. He becomes their adoption chairperson. I worry that we’ll be inundated with turtles.

  2. Turtle Central — Our apartment becomes a clearing house for every unwanted turtle in New York City. Turtle people stop Allen on the street to talk turtle.

  3. Love At First Sight — Allen recalls the moment he realized he was in love with me; I learn about the time he pulled a painted turtle out of a stream at camp at age 11, and fell in love with turtles.

  4. A Box Turtle in the City — Allen helps an injured box turtle. He names her Max. She becomes his favorite turtle. She walks around the house and lays eggs.

  5. Living Quarters — We see Allen’s friends’ turtle habitats (a.k.a. turtle Taj Mahals); Allen gets his own turtle habitat.

  6. A Lot of Turtles — We visit a turtle enthusiast who has over 1,000 turtles.

  7. Say “Cheese” — We photograph Allen’s turtles, who refuse to pose. I start to observe them more closely.

II. I’M AMBIVALENT

  1. Perfect Places to Find Turtles — We look for turtles in the wild, but find few. Allen visits (almost) every pet shop in America with turtles. When I learn how turtles are shipped in the pet trade, I’m glad Allen’s helping to save them.

  2. We Take a Trip — We travel to Florida to observe a sea turtle conservation project. I like these turtles more than I expect to.

  3. Why You Should Never Leave Your Turtle Home Alone — Trouble finding turtle sitters.

  4. Turtle People Do the Darndest Things — The Turtle Roundup at the Turtle Back Zoo; the Turtle Show in Manhattan; I find some people we meet to be as weird (they put ribbons around their turtles, carry around big turtles in their arms) as people find Allen to be.

  5. A Few More Annoying Things About Living With Turtles — Turtle water (water teaming with Salmonella germs); turtle-related entertainment; the ultimate turtle hazard — Max!

  6. On the Pot With a Snapping Turtle — a 25-lb. snapper takes over our bathtub for two weeks.

  7. Not in My Bathtub, You Don’t! — I refuse to let 3,000+ hatchling turtles confiscated from Manhattan street peddlers take up residence in our tub. Allen asks me to help him ship the turtles to an animal rehabilitator in Texas.

  8. Real Turtles Don’t Eat Pizza — Turtle foods and turtles as food.

  9. Is There a Turtle Doctor in the House? — I admire Allen’s dedication to keeping his turtles healthy. Allen loses a turtle to old age and I console him.

  10. Sex and the Single Turtle — People ask Allen how to tell boy turtles from girl turtles; we watch turtles mate.

  11. Star Turn With Turtles — In 1990, Allen’s press release about how Ninja Turtles are creating dangers for real turtles — parents are buying children turtles without learning correct care — gets him onto network and cable TV; I sit home and watch. Max lays an egg (off camera) on the Bide-a-Wee Pet Show.

III. BECOMING A CONVERT

  1. Why I Learned Latin — To prepare to attend a turtle conference in Westchester County, I learn turtles’ Latin (scientific) names.

  2. They Paved Paradise — At the turtle conference, I’m distressed to learn the extent to which turtles are in trouble.

  3. Close Encounters of the Chelonian Kind — I ask conference attendees why they fell for turtles; I’m touched by their answers.

  4. At Long Last Leatherbacks — We observe a sea turtle conservation project on St. Croix. I find my favorite turtle.

  5. A Turtle to Call My Own — I get a juvenile leopard tortoise. I’m sad, knowing I’ll have to give it away when it gets big (60 lbs.).

IV APPENDIX

Resources:

  • Five Things You Can Do to Help Turtles

  • More Information on Helping Turtles

  • So You Think You Want a Pet Turtle

  • How to Choose a Healthy Pet Turtle